It's so fucking cold here. I'm so mad, frustrated, sad, MAD, AND MADMADMADMAD (in the sense that I've gone crazy and I'm angry) !! I wake up every morning shivering to death because it's like 39 degrees outside, and yeah, some of you who live up North might be thinking "WAT? DIS NOT COLD!" But I live in Miami, where it's 95 degrees with humidity most the year, so the fact that it's so damn cold is horrible. I have no tolerance for this weather. ;-;

On a side note, I hate my life at the moment. (:

Oh, and Urban Outfitters is ridiculous. Sure, like any trendy teenager I'm all into the vintage clothes and whatnot. But I won't pay 10 bucks for a piece of plastic you glued a bunch of feathers onto, come on. I do like this though:



Again, I have no money for crap like this. Ah well, back to painting.

1. Was 2009 a good year for you?
It was a horribly wonderful and yet beautifully hideous year.

2. What was your favorite moment of the year?
There was this one night where I begged and pleaded and asked for a million favors to go over his house, and I was just so shocked about how much people cared. It was a long drive, and we were wasting time and gas, and no one really liked him anyways, but they all did it to see me happy. And when I got there, there was just this bliss that surrounded everything. I don't know, it was just a stunning moment realizing it all happened the way I planned.

3. What was your least favorite moment of the year?
There were a lot. But I suppose that's behind me now.

4. What are your plans for 2010?
Stand up for what I believe in, take what is mine.

5. What countries did you visit?
Ah! I actually didn't go anywhere this year, ha!

6. What date in 2009 will remain etched in your memory?
I can never remember dates, only days and moments.

7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not falling apart completely when things got rough? ^^;

8. What was your biggest failure?
I don't think I've ever failed. Maybe I've been knocked down a few notches, but I don't think I ever failed completely.

9. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Not really, I'm a pretty healthy person.

10. What was the best thing you bought?
Bare minerals, I love that makeup.

11. Who's behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The disgustingly shallow teenage bitches I'm supposed to act civil around during school.

12. Where did most of your money go?
For gifts actually.

13. What did you get really really really excited about?
Any party or major event, lol.

14. What songs will always remind you of 2009?
Just Dance by Lady GaGa.

15. Compared to this time last year are you:
a) Fatter or thinner?: Thinner.
b) Happier or sadder?: Sadder.
c) Richer or poorer?: Same.

16. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Expressing myself.

17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Pretending; just pretending there was nothing to do, nothing was wrong. Living in ignorance.

18. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it at my Aunt's house.

19. Which LJ/MySpace users did you meet for the first time?
None.

20. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Yep.

21. How many one night stands?
Two...?

22. What was your favourite TV show?
I got really hooked on Degrassi.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
/cracks knuckles
Oh yes.

24. What was/were the best books you read?
Violin by Anne Rice.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
GaGa?! :D Haha, not really. I got really pumped on Muse's new album.

26. What did you want and get?
I'm working on it.

27. What did you want and not get?
Working on it.

28. What was your favourite film this year?
Might be horrible to say this because I am a film student, but I'd have to say The Hangover. I really enjoyed that movie.

29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I had a small party at my house with my friends, I turned seventeen.

30. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
Wouldn't change anything even if I were to say.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Very, hm, sophisticated actually. I'm seventeen and I'm dressing like I'm twenty five. /shrug

32. What kept you sane?
Late nights on the phone.

33. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
Lady GaGa, go figure. She's a freak, and like the rest of America, I eat it up.

34. Which political issue stirred you the most?
Don't care.

35. Who did you miss?
You, forever and always.

36. Did you treat somebody badly in 2008?
Yes... I did.

37. Did somebody treat you badly in 2008?
Mmhmm...

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year?
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year...
I live, to let you shine.

There's a lyric in one of Lady GaGa's songs, it goes "He ate my heart." And that's it, that's what I truly like about that song. Just that one line. I mean it has a nice beat and whatever, it's a good song, but I really like that line. He didn't just take my heart, or steal it, or something along those lines, where you have a hope of getting it back. But he ATE it. He consumed it entirely. I don't know, I just really like the way Lady GaGa puts things. And I certainly like that line.

I'm really tired lately. I guess that's normal because of the school I go to or whatever. But it's not just the school, I just have this fatigue that drags me down and makes it hard to do, well, anything, really. There was a point where I would worry, and think and think and think about all this stuff. It's drained me. I don't love anymore, because I simply have no love left in me to give. I guess it's because I never got any back.

Huh... I have to go paint now or something. Portfolio day coming, and all that jazz.

I probably should post more, but there isn't really that much to say. Oh! I had a really really good weekend though, which is totally rare for me. I went over Emily's over and we both ended up getting Wiis! Woo! She had Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles and we ended up beating the game in two days, it was really fun, I hope she gets more RE games for the Wii. OH AND FUCKING SHIT, FOR ANYONE WHO'S A RE FAN APPARENTLY EVERYONE HATES STEVE, WELLFUCK, I LOVE STEVE! I got all attached and Emily, that whore, didn't tell me he'd was going to DIE. I'm so dramatic, when he got injected with the Veronica Virus(?) I fell to my knees shouting "NO! STEVE!!" But yeah, can't change anything now.

Nick apparently wants to spend New Year's with me, which in a way makes me all giddy, but I can't have myself getting too excited. He's the worse. He'll probably bail at the last minute and leave me feeling all terrible, and I won't enjoy my New Year. I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter if he's there or not. BUT I JUST WANT TO BE WITH HIM AND I CAN'T HELP IT. FUCK. New year's resolution: Heal! And I'm already scribbling all the other ones onto my list. Because that kinda crap is important to me.